i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
