Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
