You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
