i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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