she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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