I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
