Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize