i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
