those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
