I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
