Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm always down for nudity.
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