Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
