It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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