Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i think i have herpe
just one?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
