my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
