i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
