I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
