hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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