Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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