Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
