i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize
