Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
