you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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