Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
