Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
only if we run a train.
done.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
