Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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