If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it's like iHOP with fire
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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