worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
