don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
