We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
