glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
