your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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