I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
