This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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