what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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