giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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