Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
