you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
