im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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