Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
