I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
