I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have tasted many bathrooms
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
