We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
