Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
