Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
