Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
