I'm gonna have a badass scar
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
