why didn't you poke me back
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
