my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
