i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
