I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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