Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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